Crackers from scratch

I have been meaning to try my buddy Muddy’s flatbread (either this one or this one or the non-flat one here, doesn’t really matter which) for quite some time now, so will have to make that a priority this summer.

But there was another crazy-easy flour-based snack food that has been on the backburner for ages as well. About five minutes of prep and 12 minutes in the oven, so it had my name written all over it.


Yep, crackers. Those cheap little snacks you get in a box for $2 at the grocery store. Why in the world would anyone make their crackers?

Well, because it’s easy, for one. Because you know exactly what’s in them, for two. (No partially hydrogenated soybean oil, high fructose corn syrup, vegetable monoglycerides, monosodium glutamate, or yellow dye #5, for instance.) And because they do taste a ton better when you know that they were in your very own oven just minutes ago.

And maybe mostly because this is another one of those recipes where there are 1-2 things you have to do, and then everything else is optional.

Here’s what you have to do: Mix flour with a little liquid, roll it out, and bake it.

Here’s what else you can do: Add butter, milk, cream, cheese, salt, spices, herbs, etc. Use whole wheat flour, or mix in some rye or other whole grains. Roll it thick or thin. Piece the dough with your fork to let out steam for a crisper cracker, or don’t for a more tender one.

I went with the first version I ever saw, Parmesan Cream Crackers from Mark Bittman.

1 cup all-purpose flour, plus some for dusting your rolling surface
1/2 tsp salt
a heaping 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
4 Tbs butter
about 1/4 cup milk, half-and-half, or cream (have a little bit more on hand just in case)
sea salt and freshly ground pepper

Heat the oven to 400º and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Mix everything but the liquid in a food processor and pulse until it is uniformly combined.

Pour in half of your quarter-cup of cream while running the processor on the lowest setting. Then slowly add the rest, just a little bit at a time, just until the dough holds together.

Now for the best part. What you basically have now is cheesy pastry dough, but unlike a pie shell, you don’t have to be careful about overworking this dough. It’s just a cracker, so you can work it over pretty good.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it’s around a quarter-inch thick. Common sense here: thicker means a more tender cracker, thinner means crispier. Then slide the dough onto your baking sheet.

If you score it with a knife or pizza cutter (I used a faux-Ulu, the Wüstof weigemesser mincing knife), then you’ll have nice square crackers that break off easily when you’re done. You can also prick the dough with a fork, 2-4 times per square, to release some steam for a crisper cracker. (The first time you try this, maybe prick half and don’t prick the other, and see which side you prefer.)

Finally, sprinkle with salt and any other spice you want, such as freshly ground black pepper, garlic, red pepper flakes. (Again, maybe sprinkle something different on a couple of different sections the first time out.)

Bake for 10-12 minutes, then cool on a rack.

These will most certainly satisfy any hankering for a hunk of cheese.

(Hat tip to One Ordinary Day for the pro-fromaggio PSA.)

About SAO'

Dad to two amazing girls, husband to one.
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7 Responses to Crackers from scratch

  1. Ha! I love that video clip. : )I don't remember if it was Mark Bittman's recipe I used or not, but homemade crackers are awesome!

  2. muddywaters says:

    I'm going to post my comments again because I'm going to reference them in a post tomorrow:I have somewhat of a man crush on Bittman. If I had to list my top-five man crushes they would read as follows:1. Kirk Herbstreit2. Chris Fowler3. Bruce Springsteen4. Chris Stephens from Northern Exposure. I know it's illogical to have a man crush on a fictional character, but it's my list. 5. Bittman

  3. I wanted to reassure you: you did not sound the least bit xenophobic!I have made crackers once; I thought it was a lot of trouble even though I would definitely enjoy yours!

  4. Wow! I can truly say it's never crossed my mind to make my own crackers–but they sound delicious!

  5. OOD: Thanks for pointing me towards the video. Although, now I find myself humming "hanker for a hunk of, a sliver or a chunk of …" and often in public places.MW: Maybe it's the sign of being happily married that when we play the "stuck on a deserted island" game, I always think of guys I'd like to have a beer with rather than hottie celebrities. TOB: Funny how we all have different definitions of "trouble." For me, I hate things that have to be carefully timed, or sequences that can't be re-arranged. But cleaning up gadgets never bothers me. Maybe someone should form an idiosyncratic commune for foodie types, where folks could be matched up so there's always one person in the group who likes washing the produce, one who likes knife work, one who likes kneading, one who likes assembling, disassembling, and cleaning the gadgets …Spicy: I never thought of strawberries and thyme, so we're even!

  6. Mary says:

    You are very ambitious. Crackers can be tedious to make. Yours look wonderful. I hope you are having a great day. Blessings…Mary

  7. Thanks, Mary. I dunnoh … not so much ambitious as curious. And not just curious as to how something will turn out, but curious as to whether I'll have the patience to finish the project. Cheers!

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